Thursday, July 7, 2011

Not another rant...this time it's personal

The following post is to be taken with a grain of salt. A friend of mine today sent me a video that I can only assume he was hoping I would find humorous. He was wrong. Basically, it was a video about how Twilight fans are fat, lonely, pathetic losers who have no intelligence or merit. And who are too idiotic to discern fiction from reality. Normally I can take a good ribbing for being a Twilight fan, but this one pissed me off. So, like I said take the following with a grain of salt. I realize that I am broadly generalizing males, and if you are offended because the following clearly doesn’t apply to you (because a. you are not a Neanderthal who thinks all things Twilight are gay b. you actually took the time to read the books and didn’t just base your opinion off the movies, which are hardly fair representations of the book or c. you really don’t give a crap about Twilight), then I apologize.

What exactly is it about Twilight that bothers men so much? Why are they so threatened by one Edward Cullen? Here’s my theory. I think that they are afraid that women might get some dangerous ideas about how they should be treated: with respect, loyalty, devotion; that they should be listened to, valued and protected. I mean God forbid today’s male get off his porn watching, Call of Duty playing, iphone soul sucking ass and pay some attention to his girlfriend. And the whole “Edward is a totally unrealistic, unfair depiction of what a man is supposed to be” thing? Well guess what. Megan Fox, Adriana Lima, and Kim Kardashian are totally unrealistic, unfair depictions of what a woman is supposed to be. Welcome to our world. Women have been putting up with that shit since Playboy magazine was first published. At least Edward Cullen possesses some decent qualities. The best qualities of the aforementioned ladies? Big tits and ass. So sorry if I’m not in the mood for you to mock me. Now eff off.

End of rant.

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