Wednesday, November 4, 2009

So a year ago, I discovered something...

wonderful! I can't believe it has been a year since I read Twilight. I am going to do this whole long, boring post about how I found out about it, what it means to me, yada, yada, yada. I'm saving that for another day. I'm sure you all can't wait. I feel like I owe it to the universe to shout out a thanks for sending this big ball of awesome my way. But, that post can wait. For now, I'm going to give you another New Moon quote. Because I can. And it is but a tiny look at why Twilight means so much to me:

"I didn't want to fight anymore. And it wasn't the light-headedness, or the cold, or the failure of my arms as the muscles gave out in exhaustion, that made me conent to stay where I was. I was almost happy that it was over. this was an easier death than others I'd faced. Oddly peaceful.
   I thought briefly of the cliches, about how you were suppose to see your life flash before you eyes. I was so much luckier. Who wanted to see a rerun, anyway?
   I saw him, and I had no will to fight. It was so clear, so much more defined than any memory. My subconscious had stored Edward away in flawless detail, saving him for this final moment. I could see his perfect face as if he were really there; the exact shade of his icy skin, the shape of his lips, the line of his jaw, the gold glinting in his furious eyes. He was angry, naturally, that I was giving up. His teeth were clenched and his nostrils flared with rage.
  'No! Bella, no!'
   My eyes were flooded wit the freezing water, but his voice was clearer than ever. I ignored his words and concentrated on the sound of his voice. Why would I fight when I was so happy where I was? Even as my lungs burned for more air and my legs cramped in the icy cold, I was content. I'd forgotten what real happiness felt like.
   Happiness. It made the whole dying thing pretty bearable."

I cannot try and really explain or justify why this hits so close to home for me. It will always come out as trite or overly dramatic. But, a few years ago I could have plunged myself off of that cliff in La Push and it would have felt like a relief. Anything would have been better than the pain. But I lived. And so does Bella.

That is why I get so defensive when people call her weak. Because who hasn't been? What she makes of herself in the end is what makes her so strong. That she pulls herself through it. Her need and love for Edward, and his for her is NOT a weakness. To love and trust someone the way she does is a strength. To be able to trust your heart so fully with someone takes a LOT of courage. At least for me it does. I think that is ultimately why New Moon is my favorite book in the series. I relate to it so much. Stephenie writes the words as if she has experienced that kind of pain and loss herself, although she says that she never has. Girl can write it like she's lived it though.

And I'm thu. Expect another delightfully Twilosophical post when my one year annivesary of the Twi-love hits. (Not until late November...I don't have an EXACT date that I started the books. That would make me a freak. sheesh.)

Thanks for listening folks! Feel free to tell me why Twilight means so much to you. I'd love to hear it!

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