Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Helena Bonham Carter

Is absolutely beautiful. I love her alabaster skin and dark hair. I love her waifish figure. I love her as Mrs. Lovett. I love her when she is puffing on a cigarette. I love that she is British. I want to look like her. I want to wear dark, vintage clothes and be unusual looking. To me, she is more beautiful than any modern day supermodel. She has such a unique look and I think she is my new girl-crush.


A new baby crush

After recently watching both Superbad and Juno, I think I have developed a baby crush on someone new. Now, you must understand that this is a BABY crush. Nowhere near what I feel for Rob. Rob is no crush. Rob is love. Rob is sex. Rob is fuckhawt (Thanks Random Act of Rob). But, I just can't help but have a tiny crush on Michael Cera and it's weird because my ex-boyfriend looks kinda similar to him. Except he was an asshole. And I like to think Michael Cera is not an asshole. He seems so sweet. And he's just damn nerdy. And that I find irresistible.

And just so you guys don't think I am completely blasphemous, here is a sexy pic of Rob. I promise I will give you guys a double whammy tomorrow since I missed It's sexy time! last week. I'm getting really bad about that. I'm afraid RL has been quite busy lately.

Pic from Random Acts of Rob. (I don't mean to bite your style, you are just awesome and I spend way too much time haunting your site.)

Saturday, June 20, 2009

How to know you are delusional about Robert Pattinson...a list

So my friend Sarah and I were chatting on the phone yesterday about you know, normal stuff, like Rob's laugh, his fingers, his getting hit by a taxi. Stuff every sane person talks about and I realized just how often we come up with scenarios for how we are going to meet Rob. I will just list a few and, Sarah, if you think of any I haven't listed here feel free to list them in the comments.

- Sarah's nieces are going to be movie stars and we are going to be their make-up artists/wardrobe stylists. When they are cast on Rob's next big picture, we are naturally going to show up to take care of our beautiful clients. Rob will see me (in our scenarios it is always me because I win and Sarah will NEVER have him) and trip because he is overwhelmed by my beauty. He will hit his face on the concrete and I will run to rescue him, cleaning up his bloody lips with my tongue. (Yes, I am sick.)
Rob's "overwhelmed by Frances' beauty" face

- I will be cast as an extra in Eclipse and the above-mentioned scenario will replay itself.

- Sarah (a famous novelist) will write the screenplay for Rob's newest movie and she will be on the set overseeing the transformation from script to screen. Rob will fall in love with the script before he is cast and become enamored with this Sarah person. When Sarah shows up on set, Rob will see her and not know who she is, but be struck by her unique beauty. He will ask, "Who is that woman?" When he learns it is THE Sarah, he will faint and I will have to resuscitate him. When he comes to, he will love me and Sarah will lose. (Ok, I am mean and selfish with Rob. I love you Sarah!!)

Anywho, if you have ever fantasized about one of the above scenarios, you may just be delusional about Robert Pattinson.

I'm not, though. We WILL meet and fall in love. It's fate.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Rob's Mob

I know everyone has already given their two cents on this, but I wanna give mine. So hush. And listen up.

These girls make us look completely and totally retarded. I hope they know how much all of Rob's fans hate them now. Thanks for making it impossible for girls like us (who would completely and utterly fall apart at the sight of Rob and would embarassingly take pictures from across the street and pray that he doesn't see us doing it) to ever be able to hope to get a picture with Rob. Or be able to get to meet him. You have terrified the man. I feel really sorry for him. How awful it must be to not be able to do your job without someone trying to put you in a headlock. I just wish that things could be normal for him again.

Don't these girls know you have to play it cool if you ever want to marry the man. You have to pretend like you don't even know who he is. That's what will impress him. (Yeah, that's it.)

And his security guards best step up. Cuz if anything ever happens to our Rob, there will be a lot of angry fan girls WAY scarier than the skanks who attacked Rob after their asses. Nothing should strike more fear into the hearts of Rob's security guards than his angry blog-obsessed fans. Just sayin'.
P.S. Like we needed another reason to love Rob, but the fact that he managed to keep a smile on his face through the whole thing (and the fact that he actually took a picture with one of the skanks) is just so completely Robalicious. (Sarah, I think the word is now official.)

How To Be

I watched this last night and I thought my heart would burst with all the love I have for Mr. Pattinson. This part was unlike anything he has ever played. I was watching it and thinking "I've never seen him act like this before." His voice was even different - not as deep and slightly more British. I know that sounds totally lame, but it's true. Rob makes Art - this completely depressed and slightly pathetic musician - completely loveable. You just want to hug him throughout the movie. I wanted to be his therapist. (If you know what I'm saying!)

When I watch a Rob movie, it is normally hard for me to forget that I am watching Mr. Hunky Pattinson. It is always there, looming, in the back of my mind. I think of all his cute interviews and all of the silly things I've read about him. But in this movie, I really forgot about how completely hawt he is (I know. I thought it was impossible, too!) and really fell into his character. You really believed that Rob was Art. And the fact that I was able to love this Art character completely separately from Rob should be reason enough for you to believe that Rob is more than Edward Cullen. There is so much more to him. And he deserves a lot more credit than I think we give him sometimes. He is way more than a pretty face and sex hair. He is truly a talent to be reckoned with.


REAL Little Ashes Review

So, you already know I loved it. The 'stache, gay sex, "the tuck", and all. Beyond all the silly fun and sex appeal, this was a really great movie. It really focused a lot more on the Lorca-Dali relationship than I anticipated. I really thought it was going to be more about Dali's life, but it was more about his relationship with Lorca. And what a beautiful relationship that was. Dali really love Lorca, but SPOILERS he could never come to terms with his homosexual tendencies and really sabotaged his relationship with him. It was truly a moving and beautiful film. Rob was fantastic as Dali. At turns he was hilarious, innocent, humble, and completely egotistical. He really captured the complexities of Dali. Don't get me wrong, I love Twilight, but this movie really blows Twilight out of the water. It truly shows what talent Rob has. I think I may be moving beyond my Twilight fandom (shock, horror, blasphemy) and really just heading into complete and total Rob fandom. We all know my complete and utter love for him and every movie I see him in I grow in my respect for his amazing talent. GUSHGUSHGUSH. Go see this movie!

Hugs and kisses for the 'stache!

It's sexy time!

What's up with me lately? I have really been slacking on my It's sexy time! pics. I am so sorry. I am spending so much time on other blogs lately, I am neglecting my own. I promise that I will post my reviews of Little Ashes and How To Be (I watched it last night) soon. I'm going to watch Bad Mother's Handbook today and will post that review too. Anywho, here's what we all wanna see!

Monday, June 15, 2009

So I have many things coming...

Future posts:
-REAL Little Ashes Review
-Exciting personal news
-My Catherine Hardwicke dream - How 'bout I go ahead and tell ya'll about it cuz it's srsly a really short story. I dreamed that I met her and I was a huge fangirl, but she was really nice to me. I raved about how much I loved Twilight and respected her take on it as a woman director. I think what prompted the dream was I saw this weird pic of her (don't remember where) where she has her hair in all these little braids and the picture was really weird looking. Crazy. lol.
-Mayhem for Rob in NYC and my anger that I didn't visit there 4 months later.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

No Doubt concert pics

K. I'm not going to give you a whole lot of hub-bub this time. Some of the pics kinda suck, but what can I say? The first band you may not recognize. They are The Sounds and they pretty much rock. If you are cool and sophisticated, you already know who they are. And yes, I knew who they were before the concert. But, only thanks to my cool and sophisticated friend Laura.

Everyone else you best fucking rekanize!

My future husband:

Best. fucking. picture. ever. (Thanks Laura!)

Yes, Gwen did kick-ass push-ups during Just A Girl. But, again, I was too busy hyperventilating during that song to capture the moment.