Tuesday, April 14, 2009

I feel like Bethenny...

from the Real Housewives of NYC. Why is it that whenever someone finds out I'm single they give me this look filled with pity and sadness? Like I'm some pathetic, lonely little being who has no idea how to attract a man? People try to tell me how to get a man. "Wear your hair this way. If you would only wear your clothes a little tighter. You should wear more jewelry. You don't go out enough." It's maddening! You know, I have had boyfriends before and I am not completely ignorant about how to attract a man. The problem is that I have not even seen ONE SINGLE man in the last, oh what is it now 3 years?, that has even remotely interested me. It's not like I'm terrified to approach someone. I just haven't seen anyone. Oh yeah, I've seen some hot guys, but it's not like I'm gonna go up and throw my boobs in his face and start talking all breathy and giggling. That's just not how I roll. Some people don't seem to get that not everyone works the same way. I don't feel like I have to slut it up just to get someone's attention. That's not the kind of attention I want anyway. I don't want someone's first impression of me to be that I am some brainless tramp. And if I throw my boobs in his face and he DOESN'T think I'm some brainless tramp, then I don't want that kind of guy anyway.

I'm beginning to fear that there is no guy out there who will genuinely be interested in what I have to say. Let's be real here, I know that guys have hormones. They think with their... We all know this. But, there has got to be guys left who genuinely want to meet an interesting person and be in a relationship with someone who challenges them and intrigues them. RIGHT?? If not, I think I'd rather just keep dreaming of marrying Rob Pattinson. Well, I'm always going to be dreaming that anyway. Haha.

Anyway, I just get sick of people treating me like I have some debilitating illness because I am single. I am not a leper, people! OF COURSE I want someone to share my life with, but it's not like I'm over here slitting my wrists and sobbing into my pillow at night because I am just oh so lonely. I do have an identity of my own, which is more than I can say for some people. Besides, being single does have its advantages. Like not having to share the remote, being able to listen to Paramore on loop in my car without complaint (with the exception of Matt), and being able to drool over all things Rob Pattinson, Johnny Depp, and Ryan Gosling without some doofus jealous reaction. :)

Moral of the story: The next time one of your friends tells you that they are single, don't gape at them with a sorrowful expression in your eyes or ask them the dumbassiest of all dumbass questions: "Why?" Just nod your head and say "Cool. It must be nice not having to share the remote."

Peace out homies!

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