Friday, February 27, 2009

Heavy thoughts

Sometimes I feel this enormous pressure to go back to school and get my Masters. I've never been at a place in my life where it is okay to just wander and allow life to just happen for me. I've always been a planner and I have always taken comfort in that plan. Some part of me is in constant panic about what is going to happen for me next and another part of me is reveling in the fact that I am just drifting right now. I have always looked down on drifters and been frustrated by their satisfaction to be living a chaotic, unplanned life. Maybe that is why I am having a hard time accepting that that is what I am doing in my life right now. Is it so wrong to just allow my life to take me where it will? I am really enjoying just traveling, reading, and taking time to just breath. My whole life I have run, run, run to the next destination and I have never taken the time to just live in the moment. And now that I have the opportunity, I am thrilled and panicked at the same time. What if I am forever drifting? What if 10 years from now I am still working as a waitress? Don't get me wrong, my job is great in that it affords me the opportunity to have a flexible schedule and live the life that I want to live. But at the same time, I know I don't want to be doing this at 33. I'm afraid if I keep drifting that my dreams won't come true. I can't expect to just one day wake up and have everything I've ever wanted. Can I? It's always been my belief that to get what you dream for, you have to go and get it. Maybe I have a Jonah complex. Maybe I fear my own greatness. I want to follow my dreams, but I am paralyzed by fear. I don't think it's really fear of failure either. I'm not sure what I fear. I just know that I want to find a place in my life where I feel sure that what I'm doing is what I'm supposed to be doing. I want to happy in my life. Do people always feel this transient feeling? Like they are never where they are supposed to be in their life? Or am I just experiencing that time in your early 20's where you question everything about your existence? Am I just trying to "find myself" as they say?

Thursday, February 26, 2009

NYC trip February 2009

The dream that I have had for as long as I can remember finally came true. I have always dreamed of the bright lights of New York City and I got to experience it with one of my best friends.

1. Times Square
2. Ball from New Year's Eve
3. View from our hotel room of the Empire State Building
4. Chrysler Building

The trip started out a little rocky, as we missed our flight. After rushing to the airport and being told we were too late, one of the girls in our group (as it so happens the one who caused us to miss the flight by being extremely late) worked some magic with Delta and our wonderful Delta agent Elrico. (Yes his name was actually Elrico). He was able to get us a flight into White Plains that night at 8:25. We checked our bags and rushed to make the flight.
1. Finally on the flight (sigh)
2. Desiree and me
We safely arrived at the White Plains airport and waited for our baggage to arrive on the carousel. After my 3 friends got their baggage, I was extremely saddened to discover that my baggage had not arrived. The Delta agent informed me that because of weight and balance issues (whatever that means) my luggage was still in Atlanta, but would arrive tomorrow morning at 11 A.M. After calling Delta several times the next day, my baggage still hadn't arrived by 11. I tried
to enjoy the day. Wearing the same clothes, me and my group went to the Statue of Liberty. Man was it cold! We were almost blown off the ferry. We took the obligatory pictures in front of the statue and visited ground zero and did some shopping on 34th street.

1. Sarah and me at a "real" NY diner called Scotty's
2. The obligatory pic of the Statue
3. Sarah and me. It was so windy!
4. Ground zero
5. View of the City from Liberty Island
While we were out, I received a call that my luggage had arrived at the White Plains airport, but was damaged and unfortunately Delta was not going to repair the damage. At this point, however, I was relieved that my baggage was in NY at all. Anyway, we went back to the hotel around 10 and still no luggage. At this point I was royally pissed. Why would it take 8 hours for baggage to be delivered from an airport that was only 40 minutes from my hotel? The Delta rep started getting testy with me, which only pissed me off further. FINALLY, at midnight, my luggage arrived. I'm pretty sure this is the guy who handled my luggage:
The handle of my suitcase was almost completely ripped off with only jagged pieces of metal left. It looked as if they deliberately were trying to destroy my luggage. My friend seems to think that maybe it got caught on some part of the carousel at some point. That handle was pretty strong and it had to take a really strong person to destroy it like that. Anyway, the point was I had my luggage! Things were starting to look up.

Saturday, we stood in line for half price tickets to Chicago. We really only stood in line for about thirty minutes, which I was impressed with. Next, we ate lunch at the McDonald's in Times Square. (I know. McDonalds?! But, we didn't want to be late for the matinee showing, so we just hung around on Broadway). At 2:30, we went to the show. All I can say for it is - AMAZING!!! Everyone must see a Broadway show before they die. I was surpised at the lack of set on the show. The stage was small (the show was at the Ambassador theatre) and the set consisted of just the Chicago orchestra. It was unusual seeing the orchestra on stage. But with the beautiful, sparkling costumes and amazing talent on stage, there really wasn't a need for an elaborate set.
1. Chicago at the Ambassador theatre
2. Sarah and me
3. Me in front of Roxy
4. Me
5. Sheneva and Sarah at the Times Square McDonald's
Saturday night, we went to Harlem and a club called Webster Hall. I wore my new "club dress." And believe me I am not a clubber, so this was a new experience for me. I was pleasantly surprised that no one spotted me as an outsider. I was waiting for them all to scream "What a weirdo...what is she doing here??" But to my surprise, I think I may have blended in. Six guys actually asked me to dance. The first guy was Ukranian, the second Brazilian, the third was from Turkey, the fourth I am unsure about, the fifth was Jamaican, and the sixth was just some American dude. I only danced with the guy from Turkey and he started getting a little too handsy, so I left. My friend got kinda wasted, so I suggested we leave around one because she was getting a little too rowdy. We took a taxi home and that was a cool experience. Yes, I know I am a nerd, but I had never been in a taxi before.
1. Sheneva, me, Desiree before Webster Hall
Sunday, only me and my friend Sarah went out because my other friend was hungover. We went to Central Park, hoping to spot celebrities. No such luck, but it was fun going at our own pace and meandering through the park. It was beautiful even when it was raining. I would love to see it in the fall. We rode the carousel, explored Belvadere castle, found Strawberry Fields, and snapped photos of the Dakota. Next, we went to the Metropolitan Museum of Art. I was kinda disappointed here. The museum was hard to navigate through. After that, we went to Madame Tussaud's Wax Museum. It was really fun here. Kind of a short exhibition for $35 though. I took lots of pictures here.

1. Bow Bridge in Central Park
2. Me on Bow Bridge
3. Imagine in Strawberry Fields
4. The Dakota as seen from Central Park
5. The Dakota
6. My hero, Lucille Ball
7. The Beatles
8. A drag queen-looking Marilyn Monroe
9. Girl Power! Me and Sarah with the Spice Girls
1o. Me, Sarah, and Mr. President
11. Me and my husband
12. Good old Julia
13. Me stealing Brad from Angie
14. Chatting it up with Jen Aniston
15. On the carousel in Central Park

Sunday night, we went to a nice dinner at this place called Docks. It was on 3rd Avenue and 40th Street. It was really nice. The tables had little tea lights. We were really dressed up and feeling fancy. Sheneva curled my hair and I wore my midnight blue Grecian-style dress. I ordered a $32 steak. It was worth every penny. It was delicious. For dessert, we ordered one piece of cheesecake and three forks. It was delicious too.
1. Before Docks (Sheneva curled my hair!)
2. Me and Sarah before Docks
At some point during the trip, we went to this comedy club inside the restaurant Charley O's. I can't remember what night it was. The comedians were nice and foul-mouthed. (Which I love!) I thought the guys were funny. My friends didn't agree.

Anyway, I felt like overall I had a really well-rounded experience. Next time I go, I want to go in warmer weather. Maybe in the spring or summer.
I also want to do the following on the next trip:
- Shop on 5th Ave.
- Go to a taping of SNL
- See a celebrity (this is something I always want to do anywhere I go)
- Visit the Empire State Building
- Go to the Guggenheim and the Museum of Natural History
- Go see more residential areas where the brownstones and such are
- See a Broadway play starring a celebrity
- Spend more time on the subway (no joke, I really like riding the subway and I think of it as an experience in itself)
- See Tom's Restaurant from Seinfeld
- See more movie locations
Lots to do and I'm sure that sometime in the near future I will visit NY again. I know I have to go with my brother and when we go together, we have to stop in Red Bank, NJ - childhood home of our hero Kevin Smith.

Big baby

I finally was able to watch the Oscars and I have to ask, am I the only one who cries like a baby when they watch it? Every year I watch the Oscars and every year I end up crying. It's so moving for me to see these people stand up on that stage and thank all of the people who have helped them accomplish their dreams and made them the people that they are. Nothing could mean more to me than having a public venue like that to just thank the people who love me and believe in me and if one day I am able to accomplish that dream - to win an Oscar - there will not be enough words to express the love I have for the people in my life. Watching the Oscars always reminds me that despite whatever is going on in the world, or even in this country, that the human spirit is so beautiful and people can be kind to one another. I love the idea that, no matter your circumstances, your dreams can come true.

P.S. I am so happy that Kate Winslet FINALLY won her Oscar. She is such a phenomenally talented actress with an incredible sense of humility and sense of humor. In a time filled with brainless, shameless examples of womanhood in Hollywood, she is a true role model and someone worth aspiring to.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009


So I'm back. New York was absolutely amazing! But, I am not here to write about that...yet. It is going to be an incredibly long post and I am too tired for that now, but I want to gripe for a minute.

Coastal Scents packaging is complete crap. I bought the 88 shimmer e/s palette a few months ago and it has now completely fallen apart. The hinges of the cover broke and about 8 of the e/s pans have come unglued. I have already had to glue in two of the pans in the past and now 8 more have fallen out. I mean, I now I only payed 25 dollars for 88 eyeshadows, but I just can't believe the packaging is practically disintegrating. It's really frustrating.

Anywho, I'm off to read Club Dead (3rd book in the Sookie series) and then I'm gonna go to sleep because unfortunately I have to work tomorrow.

Look for the LONG NY post with many pictures to come soon.


Thursday, February 19, 2009

So I lied...

That wasn't the last post for five days. I found something so incredibly hilarious, I had to write about it. Why does Rob looks so emaciated? I think he would find this game completely hilarious and a little insulting. Oh, Twilight fans. The odd things that we create in our fandom.

Only a little over 10 hours until I am in NYC!!!


Wednesday, February 18, 2009


Is the day! This time tomorrow I will be arriving in NYC!!! I can't believe it. This has been my dream for as long as I can remember. And I get to go with one of my best friends. Sarah is always fun to be around. No matter what we do, we always end up laughing together. We just had an hour conversation about books. Only we could have fun with that. Anyway, I guess my next entry won't be for five days, so I'll see you then.

Look out New York, here we come!

Sunday, February 15, 2009


I am a big ball of stress and yucky feelings. I don't even think Twilight will cheer me up. Well... maybe that stupid shiny Volvo owner can.

P.S. I want that bumper sticker that says "I drive like a Cullen."

Thursday, February 12, 2009

MAC's Hello Kitty Collection

Sad news: I didn't' win a T-shirt from the Twilight riddle.

Good news: I did get my name put on the Hall of Fame list!

More good news: My Hello Kitty stuff from MAC got here today.

More sad news: I am really unimpressed with the beauty powder. I was really unsure of what the beauty powder was used for anyway, so I guess shame on me. I'm just unhappy that there is almost zero color, so it can't really be used for a blush. It has Hello Kitty's face stamped on it, so that is cute and because I will probably not use this product, her face is there permanently. The beauty powder just turned into something to collect.

Super good news: The Lucky Tom eyeshadow quad is awesome though. My favorite color is the one that I thought I would like the least because of its subtlety. Creme royal is actually very beautiful and will be an awesome highlight color. Paradisco is also very pretty. Stylin' doesn't have as much color payoff as I had hoped. I think I am forever spoiled by the vibrancy of Coastal Scents' 88 shimmer palette. Lucky Tom is the one I will probably use the least because it is so dark and its hard for someone with my skin tone (vampire pasty) to pull that off. Overall, I am pretty happy with the eyeshadows and will definitely be buying more MAC e/s. However, I have discovered that I am really not a fan of matte shadows. I am much more of a shimmer girl.

Cute packaging:

Beauty powder in Tahitian Sand:
Lucky Tom e/s quad:
L to r: Creme royal (which turns out to be a better highlight color than Shroom), Paradisco, Stylin', Lucky Tom.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Twilight vs. True Blood

I started watching the HBO show True Blood shortly before I discovered the Twilight phenomenon (or is it phenomena - I can never get that right) and after watching the first season, I decided to pick up the first book in the series. For those that don't know, True Blood is a show based on a series of books written by Charlaine Harris. So far, Harris has written eight books in the Southern Vampire Mystery Series (also known as the Sookie Stackhouse novels). After reading this book, I became aware of the hype surrounding this "vampire movie" Twilight. At first, I really wasn't interested in the movie. I thought it looked cheesy, but after seeing the trailer over and over on TV, I decided to go see the movie.


I became totally obsessed. I couldn't get enough Twilight. That's why I began reading the books. While I was reading the 4 Twilight books, I noticed some similarities between this series and the Sookie series. Some really striking similarities. The first Sookie novel was published in 2001, while the first Twilight novel was published in 2005. The books were fairly spread out, but they seem to share a lot of similarities. Anyway, that is what this whole post is about. So I begin:

1. Werewolves and shapeshifters - In both the SS universe and the TW universe, other supernatural beings exist. In TW, Bella's other major love interest (Jacob) happens to be a werewolf (and later we find out he isn't TRUELY a werewolf, but a shapeshifter - this could get complicated if I went into full detail about that, so I won't). In the SS universe, Sookie's kind of love interest (Sam) is a shapeshifter. In other words (just in case the former was confusing), in both universes the main character has a love interest who is a shapeshifter and oddly enough the shifters "shift" into a "shape" that is of the canine variety (Sam into a collie and Jacob into a (were)wolf).

2. Telepathy - In TW, Edward is able to hear the thoughts of others (with the exception of Bella). In the SS universe, Sookie can hear the thoughts of others (with the exception of Bill and other vampires). In both universes, however, the telepathic ones can later hear those that they formerly couldn't. In Breaking Dawn (the final book of the TW series), Bella allows Edward to hear her thoughts. In Living Dead in Dallas (the second book in the SS series), Sookie reveals that on occasion she has been able to hear some of the vampires' thoughts "slip" through.

3. Mythology - In both universes, the vampires have helped construct a mythology in order to protect their secrets. In the SS universe, Bill reveals that the vampires themselves created the mythology behind stakes, mirrors, crucifixes, and garlic. In the TW universe, it is hinted at that Carlisle created the story of the Stregoni Benifici in order to alleviate some of the negative feelings toward vampires.

4. Vampire characteristics - Obviously from vampire story to vampire story, there are going to be similarities in their characteristics - like fangs, "allergies to sunlight", coffins (BTW, all of those are untrue of TW vampires), pale and cold skin, etc. However, there is a characteristic in both the TW and SS universes that I have never heard of in other vampire stories. And that is the immobility that vampires possess in the TW and SS novels. In both of these stories, the vampires are relatively immobile, which happens to draw attention to their marked difference. In the TW universe, the vampires must practice the human habit of fidgeting in order to fit in. In the SS universe, the vampires are not so concerned with this unnerving trait of theirs.

I'm sure there are more similarities that I missed and I'm sure as I continue reading the SS series, I will notice even more. This post became way more scholarly and term paper-like than I intended. It was actually pretty fun to write. I guess that's the nerd in me. Somewhere hidden deep within my heart, (in a place I wasn't even aware existed in college) I think I actually enjoy writing.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

9 days until...


MAC junkie

MAC launched its Hello Kitty collection last night at midnight and I ordered beauty powder in Tahitian sand and the Lucky Tom eyeshadow quad. I can't wait for it to get here. And because I needed a MAC fix, I went out today and bought some stuff. (Like I don't need to save money for NY).

I bought the 224 brush and the 209 brush. I also got the Mineralize Skinfinish in Blonde from the Blonde Brunette Redhead collection. MAC is "exactly my brand of heroin."

Reasons I love Rob Pattinson

1. The most obvious one: his hair (even after he cut it).
2. His head is slightly too big for his body, which is somehow cute.
3. His absolute oblivion to his own appeal.
4. His self-deprecating humor (I always find this really appealing in anyone, for some reason).
5. He's English.
6. He plays Edward Cullen in Twilight.
7. He's funny.
8. He's ridiculously humble.
9. How he speaks so highly of Kristen Stewart.
10. He dated a fan who was semi-stalking him because he was lonely (kind of weird, but endearing).
11. His nervous habit of pushing his hair back.
12. He tells great stories.
13. He kissed a boy and he liked it. (I don't really think he liked it, but I can't wait to see him in Little Ashes.)

Reasons I need a life:
1. This list.
2. My YouTube channel where I ramble incessantly about Twilight.
3. My next post, which compares Twilight to True Blood.
4. This blog.


Sunday, February 8, 2009


I feel like I'm being "single white femaled" right now! As Gwen Stefani says: "They're trying to bite our style." Some people are so damn unoriginal.

Anyway because I'm so cool, I'm going to do a post soon comparing Twilight and True Blood. There are some striking similarities between the two.

Can't wait till my days off. This job is getting to me.

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Sweet victory!

I'm finished! I'm finished! I'm finished! After 10 grueling hours of the Twilight riddle, I am finally finished. It was so much fun. I already want another one.

Two weeks in counting until NYC!!!

Wednesday, February 4, 2009


My brain is completely and utterly fried. I worked on the Twilight riddle for 5 hours today. I have 7 riddles left and I just can't figure out number 93, so I am taking a break. Maybe I will have one of my 2 am epiphonies. Cross your fingers.

P.S. Watching Lost tonight has only contributed to my confusion. Plus, I think I have a crush on Daniel Faraday.

Twilight riddle

I have found an awesome new thing to consume my days. And it involves Twilight! It's a cool riddle thingy at It's one of those things where you have to enter the answer to each riddle into the address bar to get to the next one. It's so fun and really challenging. I'm a nerd!!